Monday, May 12, 2014

Out of Reach by Missy Johnson

Author: Missy Johnson

My best friend was dying and I was in love with his girl.

Andy and I had been best friends since we were eight-years old.

Watching him slowly fade away, ever closer to his final breath, made me so incredibly angry. I knew there was nothing I could do to change it--I had given in to despair, but Andy had not. He had one last hand to play.

He wasn't going to simply sit back and wait for Death to claim him--not Andy. He was going to live life until he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer.

Andy didn't want to die in some sterile hospital and asked me to take him and Emily to the beach. It would be our last road trip together.

Emily. Emily was a problem for me.

I harbored a secret that would have torn our friendship apart. I was in love with Andy's girl, and had been since she'd walked into our sixth grade class, so many years ago.

So what kind of person am I? My best friend is dying, and it's awful--but my heart still aches for his girl. I hate myself for thinking beyond Andy's death and whether there could ever be a future for Emily and I, but I can't help it.

I'm in love with her.

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4.5 Heartwrenching Sobbing Touching★

This book...this little book made my heart hurt so bad I wanted to hide in a hole and never come back out. I was in pain. I was suffering. I could feel the unfairness of life through the pages; through the emotions of the characters. This is one special story that will stay in my heart forever.

I knew when I read the blurb that this book will tear me up...but it was worse. It felt as if someone was poking me nonstop with a needle, right in my freaking heart. 

This is not a love triangle... this is not about stealing someones girlfriend -It's the total opposite. 
It's caring for the people you love. Cherishing the ones you care about. 
About a friendship that runs deeper than anything else.

The book starts off with a prologue that made me already tear up:
Death. It is the only certain thing in life
I had nothing else to fight with because it had taken everything. ...
I couldn't save myself, but I could make sure the people I loved were taken care of.
This became less about what I was losing, and more about what I could gain.
You see, this came out of Andy's mouth... Andy has cancer and little time left. He loves his girlfriend, Em, dearly and it breaks his heart to leave her...and mine *sobs*

...I love her with everything I have in me...she was my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my partner in crime, and there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her. 

Andy has a plan and he's determine to fulfill it before he dies.

3 best friends that love each other dearly; who would do anything for the other are now facing to lose one of the most important people in their circle-their best friend. Andy and Zeth have been bff's since 15yrs and Em joined the group a few years later. The 3 of them were inseparable. 
Andy and Em were a couple because Zeth never declared his feeling for Em and would never hurt his best friend or stand inbetween his happiness. 

So when Andy had one last wish both of them didn't want to let him down and took him away for his last vacation with his best friends. 

I can't spoil too much, but this book took a serious toll on me. 
You see, this book broke my heart. Written in mostly in 2 povs, but on occasions Andy's pov is there as well and it was painful to read it. I'm still tearing up thinking about it -reading through my notes is a slow death to my heart.

"I'll always be with you, Emsky. No matter where you are, or what you're doing, I'll be right there with you."~Andy
Gosh, I was bawling my eyes out. 

Andy so loving and thoughtful, wanting only the best for the girl he loves...even when he's gone. Even when she didn't quite understand his action or last wish. His whole plan was thought-out and I admired him for it. I could feel how hard it was for him, saying goodbye to the person he loves, and his best friend. Andy is the leading force to make things happen...between Zeth and Em.

This was the first book I've read by Missy Johnson and I was blown away. I don't do romance well because the recent YA/NA trend isn't mine but this was brilliant. I'll keep on checking her books in the future.

This book will stick with you for a long time -the characters emotions, actions and selflessness will touch your heart. Missy Johnson created an story packed with so many emotions that I was glued to my kindle.
"I love you, Em. I love you so fucking much," I whispered. She crawled back into my arms and began to cry. I told myself I'd be strong, that I'd never let her see me cry, but there was nothing I could do right now then to stop the tears as they rolled down my cheeks.

"I'll always love you, Andy. Forever."

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