Tuesday, July 2, 2013

REVIEW: Toxic by Raquel Valldeperas

Today we are sharing a book with you that Nadine absolutely loved and has declared the author one of her new favourite authors.  Toxic was written by Raquel Valldeperas and it is her first novel.  After I read Nadine's review I headed straight over to Goodreads to see what everyone else was saying about the book because I've got to tell you, Nadine sells me on just about every book she writes a review for!  If you take a look at the Goodreads reviews for Toxic you will see that Nadine isn't the only reader in love with this book.  


I didn't mean to let everything get so bad.
I never had control over the variables in my life, and that was okay. That's just the way it was. But the drugs were supposed to be my constant, my escape, my refuge. They weren't supposed to pull me under and hold me down, bring me to the brink of death and keep me in that in-between state. 

They weren't supposed to turn on me, just like everyone else.

My name is Logan May Reynolds, and this is my story.

*Contains mature content. Recommended for readers 17+

Purchase Link

Nadine's Review

5 Stars

Wow, whaaaaat was that??!! This book, seriously, I'm speechless. What a BRILLIANT and heartbreaking story.

Raquel Valldeperas, you just became one of my new FAV authors. Your story hooked me and it was a pleasant surprise,especially knowing that you're a new author! I really enjoyed this book and hope there will be more from you to come!!

Where do I start....So, Logan -worst name a girl can get- had a terrible childhood that a kid can imagine- no dad, but therefore an abusive drug-addicted mother that beats her daughter and purposely neglects her. She doesn't care if Lo's dirty, has something to eat or is even alive. Her mom is a mess and Lo suffers from her Mom's lifestyle cause no other kid wants to be her friend. Lo gets bullied at school and endures several beatings there as well. If that isn't already bad enough, as soon as Lo is a teen her Mom uses her own daughter to buy drugs-simply, by letting her bf's have sex with Lo - wth, how messed up is that?!?!

Lo figured out the less she fights with or against her Mom or with anyone else the easier her life gets. She escapes in a life full of parties and alcohol. The alchol numbs her and lets her forget the pain. But soon, after a terrible incident Lo isn't the same anymore; from this moment on her life goes down-hill. Alcohol isn't enough anymor to numb her- drugs are what she needs and prefers. She became the one person she never wanted to be- her MOM!!

"Part of me wants to reach out and grab onto her,feel her hold and hug me for just a little. But I tell that part to fuck off because this Mom we're talking about and she's either high or drunk or both and doesn't give a shit about me."

"Just to remind myself of that, I look into the mirror and at my black eye that she gave me less than 24hrs ago."

Oooooh yeah if her mom wasn't enough there is also her 'boyfriend', Danny. If you can call this a**hole, douche, jerk, etc. (you name it!!) boyfriend. He's abusive and beats her even worse than her mom did. He's sick, real sick, but read for yourself so he can piss you off too. I don't wanna give any spoilers.

"The whole way home, I pray. I pray to anyone who is listening to spare me, to keep fitst away from me, to keep me alive. Tears gather in my eyes and fall to the musty seat underneath me. I'm helpless, alone, in need of saving." ~ I even prayed that she makes it out alive :( !!

Well, and where there is a jerk there is always a hottie, right? Same here and his name is Nathan; all I can say he is YummY. He's literally perfect. I would have too, soooo fallen for him.

"He closes the small distance between us, grabs my face in between his hands. Angles it up that our eyes meet. I may be tall, but Nathan is taller, which is the last thought that goes through my mind before his lips come within millimeters of mine. 'Because I care about you,Logan. I care about you a lot.' "

Yeah so Nathan is just *aawww* :D "It doesn't last more than a few seconds, but in those sweet caresses I catch a glimpse of a future with possibilty, happiness, love."

Things don't get easier and Lo is on her breaking point- nothing goes like she wants. I could feel her pain and understood why she wanted to numb herself; always on the search for her next high. But eventually her body breaks and she realizes the drugs control her and not the other way around:

"I do some sort of crawl-walk thing and make it there in what feels like an hour. Even through the pain and shaking, I think about how glad I am that no one is there to witness this. The weakness, how pathetic and far gone I am. I always thought the drugs were the one thing I could take or leave.  How insanely wrong I was."

You wanna know if there's a happy ending? Well I can't tell you that but the ending  is definitely heart-warming ;) Overall ladies, the book is a bliss and I REALLY REALLY enjoyed it :)

I end my review with a sweet quote (totally my favourite one in the book as well): 
"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."


The water sprays to life, turned on as hot as it can go. The tub starts to fill so I take off my clothes and sink into it. It creeps up my thighs, my torso, cups my breasts. I sink lower and it devours my shoulders, my neck, my head. It consumes me, cradles me, carries me. The burning in my lungs is only a distant feeling. Something tells me I should come up for a breath but I can’t feel my body enough to control it, can’t tell where I end and the water begins. 
Just as I’m about to give up, to accept the fact that the water and I are one, I’m violently ripped away. Strong hands are pulling me out, wrapping me up, holding me. Rocking me. Soothing me.
“Jesus Christ, Lo. It’s okay. You’re gunna be okay.”
Miguel’s words barely register. It’s not okay. Nothing will ever be okay. All I know is that my body is refusing to stay awake.
“How much did you take?”
He’s shaking me, gripping my arms so tight that I actually feel it. What did he just ask me? His eyes look so much like Danny’s, but only the color. Dark, so dark that the irises and pupils blend together. But Miguel’s are softer, kinder. Maybe he could love me. I press my unfeeling lips against his, but he pushes me away. He doesn’t want me.
“Stop, Lo.”
He doesn’t want me. No one wants me.
I’m picked up and carried into Danny’s room, placed on the bed softly. Miguel dresses me, forces water down my throat, lays me on my side. Holds my hair and a bucket as my stomach convulses over and over. I think I’m dying. I want to die. It’s cold. I don’t want to feel anymore but it’s all coming back to me. Now my body’s shaking with tears, overflowing and flooding and I swear to god I’m drowning. They don’t stop falling and Miguel doesn’t leave my side. He sits in a chair by the bed and rubs my back, tells me over and over that everything will be okay. 
Not it won’t! I want to yell, because I’m stuck here with Danny and I need him to keep my bottles full. I’m so tired, tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of living, but I keep going because even though I’m scared of this life, I’m terrified of disappearing altogether.  

About the Author

Raquel Valldeperas is a mother and a wife, which consequently means she is a chef, a chauffeur, a teacher, a lifeguard, a maid, a coach, and sometimes a tyrant, among many other things. In the dark of night, under the cover of clouds, she becomes a writer, a reader and a line dancer. Unless Game of Thrones or The Vampire Diaries are on. Then she becomes hypnotized. She would create a list of accomplishments to make her sound more prestigious, but alas, she is merely a part-time student and a full time homemaker where accomplishments include making it through the day with both her husband, Todd, and son, Aubrey, still alive.

Toxic is her first novel, but certainly not her last. Nathan's story, Tailspin, will be released August 2013. Look for news on her Facebook page or on her blog.

Connect with Raquel: Website | Twitter | Goodreads


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